Spotlight Story— Whittney Gaines

Coron & Whittney Gaines with their 5 children and niece at The Columbus Autism Network’s Trunk or Treat event in 2021.

Whitney and The Gaines Family

The Gaines Family

​​Meet Whittney Gaines: a dedicated mother, a wife, a child advocate, a nonprofit founder and director, a teacher, a board member at The Arc of Bartholomew County, and much more. In addition to being a full-time mother to 5 children, she works in the Bartholomew Consolidated School Corporation as a Special Education Teacher. On top of that, she is currently a full-time graduate student, studying to become a fully licensed Special Education teacher. Whittney also has experience in social work and learned the ins-and-outs of the foster care system as a provider and a foster parent. Whittney relies heavily on her faith and credits her strength to her faith in God.

Whittney and her husband, Coron Gaines, have five children; Emma (9), Courtney (9), Cordell (8), Sabrina (6), and Conner (4). They have fostered many children and have adopted two young girls. Cordell has Cerebral Palsy and is nonverbal, Emma has autism and is also nonverbal, and Sabrina has a developmental disability. Having five children, three of which have disabilities, is understandably stressful at times, but Whittney expressed that she and Coron are “made for it”. Courtney, the oldest of the children, often communicates on behalf of her nonverbal siblings, as she has learned their unique form of language and is able to assist her parents in understanding what her siblings need and want. Their family is unique and strong and can teach us all many valuable lessons about unconditional love and care for others. 

A Typical Day with The Gaines

Anyone who knows Whittney knows that she has one of the busiest schedules possible. On a typical day, Whittney and her husband wake up between 3:00 and 5:00 AM to begin preparing themselves and their children for the upcoming day. She explained that she often works on her Master’s degree work starting at 3:00 AM as it is the only time that she has to complete her assignments. Whittney explained that her and her husband rely heavily on “dividing and conquering”, working together as a team to best support and care for their children and each other. They have an incredible support system who help them through the hectic days, including Whittney’s parents who are Respite Care Providers for several of their children. Whittney also expressed that other members of her family, a great group of friends, and her church family have all come together to support their family, which they couldn’t be more grateful for. The Gaines live in Indianapolis and have created a not-so-typical home that allows their children to succeed and thrive. For example, they have a huge indoor trampoline, slides everywhere, and playground and sensory swings that Whittney’s dad installed in their home. Their house is loud and wild, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. Whittney also explained that they have many exercise balls, so it is common for there to be a child flying across the room at any given time.

Foster Care/Adoption Experience

Fostering Experiences

Through Whittney’s time as a social worker, she developed a passion for advocating for children in the foster system, especially children who have disabilities who are often separated from their siblings and are considered more difficult to place in a foster home. She witnessed faults in the system that led to her decision to become a foster parent herself. Her son, Cordell, inspired her to become a therapeutic foster parent, which allowed her and her husband to foster children with disabilities. Whittney and Coron have fostered close to 15 children throughout the years, many of which have had disabilities and are considered “hard to place” in foster homes. Though they did not intend on adopting when they began fostering, Whittney and Coron adopted biological sisters, Emma and Sabrina. 

When Whittney was working as a social worker, she was informed that a young girl was having to sleep on the couch in the DCS office as they could not find a placement for her due to her disabilities. Emma, who is nonverbal and has autism, was separated from her 3 siblings. According to Whittney, children with disabilities are often separated (not typical for children without disabilities) from their sibling due to their need for extra care. When Whittney found out about the situation, she immediately thought of her son who has a disability and could not imagine him being in a similar situation, forced to stay in a strange and unfamiliar place with nowhere to go. That day, Emma joined the Gaines family. Thankfully, Emma was reunited with her sister, Sabrina, and they were placed with Whittney, Coron, and their children. After fostering Emma and Sabrina for about 3 years (initially supposed to be only a couple of weeks), Whittney and Coron were able to adopt the girls in 2020. Whittney explained that her daughters have been an incredible addition to their family, despite the challenges that they have faced. 

Challenges

Whittney explained that one of the most significant challenges that her and her husband face lies in the stereotypes that often come with an Black couple fostering and adopting white children. They have faced unfair accusations and assumptions due to people’s misunderstanding of their situation. Whittney shared that she is often asked if she is the babysitter when out with her daughters. When discussing this situation, she stated, “We get typical things like stares. People will stop us and ask questions. But recently, it’s been more people who are quick to be concerned about the safety of our children. That has been an adjustment.” Despite this challenge, Whittney rests in the fact that her children are loved, safe, and inarguably cared for. She explained, “My husband is the only dad that these girls know. If you ask them who their daddy is, their dad is Coron. My 6’2” Black husband. That part is reassuring. Our girls are happy and they’re safe and you could not convince our children that they didn’t come out of the womb altogether. They see each other equally, they love each other equally, they fight with each other completely equally. That part is reassuring about the future of the world.” 

Advice for Current or Potential Foster Parents

When asked what Whittney would advise to those who are currently fostering or are considering becoming foster parents, she emphasized the importance of asking as many questions as possible. She advised that potential foster parents should be thorough in their questioning when considering accepting a child into their home. Whitney explained that not asking adequate questions and realizing that a placement will not work after a child has already been placed can be deeply traumatizing to children who already lack stability and have faced significant challenges in their young lives. 

Whittney also expressed that foster parents and adoptive parents, especially those who are caring for children with disabilities, should take advantage of the support that is available. Organizations such as The Arc of Bartholomew County help connect individuals with disabilities and their caregivers with relevant and necessary support and resources. Whittney stated, “When I found out about The Arc, I was blown away. I had no idea of all the services that were available to my own children.” Knowing the support and resources that are available to foster and adoptive parents helps parents to feel less alone and overwhelmed and can provide their children with necessary and life-changing aid. She also advises to boldly advocate for foster children. Whittney and Coron take all the necessary steps to advocate for their children’s health and wellbeing, which includes being present for their children at all times. She emphasizes being the voice for her children with disabilities, especially for her children who are nonverbal, and must have a strong advocate fighting on their behalf. She advises foster and adoptive parents to be intentionally present at all times and set children up for success. For example, Whittney and Coron made the decision to include Emma and Sabrina’s biological mother in their care processes. She explained that they prioritized what was best for the girls and if the courts were to have decided that their biological family were what was best for them, they needed the biological family to be aware of all the therapeutic services and necessary care processes for the girls so that they can continue healing and succeeding.

Cordell and Friends

In 2020, Whittney started a nonprofit called Cordell and Friends, inspired by her son Cordell who was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at a young age. Whittney explained Cordell was her “miracle baby” and was born at just 24 weeks, weighing only 1 pound and 8 ounces with underdeveloped lungs, blood transfusions, and other health issues. She expressed that her son’s diagnosis completely changed her life and is the reason she is who she is today. After noticing the inadequate resources available for her son and the care that he required, Whitney made it a goal to advocate for minority children with disabilities. The nonprofit’s mission focuses on providing support, education, advocacy and most importantly inclusivity to minority families who have children with disabilities.

The Gaines on Christmas, 2021.

The Gaines on Thanksgiving, 2021.